After carrying my precious baby Ian Samuel for 20 weeks and 2 days, he was born and passed away on July 17, 2009. Here is the story of the week leading up to his birth.
Sunday, July 12 I woke up that night with cramping and pain in my abdomen. I called the on call doctor and explained what was happening and he said it sounded like ligament pain but that if it got worse that I should come to the ER. He told me that if I didn't come to the ER to be sure to come to the office the next morning so they could check me. Well, I laid back down and it seemed to ease off but if I moved around too much the cramping feeling came back. Jason and I got up the next morning and headed to my OB's office. My doctor was on vacation so I saw one of her coworkers. He listened to Ian's heartbeat, which was great and then did a pelvic exam. At first he said everything felt fine but then he stopped and said, "You are dilated".
The next few hours are a blur. The doctor left and two nurses came back in and dressed me and put me in a wheelchair and took me straight to labor and delivery at the hospital. Once there I had an IV with Magnesium, a catheter, and was put in bed inverted (hips above my head). A few seconds later the Perinatologist at the hospital was there with an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed that the baby was fine but my bag of water was bulging through my cervix. I was about 3 cm. dilated. The doctor hoped that keeping me inverted would cause the bag of water to slip back through my cervix and he could up in a cerclage. I stayed inverted and on Mag. from Monday to Friday. Throughout the entire week Jason was wonderful! He did everything for me! I couldn't feed myself because I was inverted, so he fed me! He bathed me in the bed and even changed the pads when I would bleed. Jason did things for me that week that no one should have to do but he never complained. I would have never made it without him. God has blessed me with an amazing husband and I am so thankful for him!
They diagnosed me with Incompetent Cervix. My cervix is weak and the pressure of the baby caused it to start opening. We prayed so hard that I could get the cerclage but each day a little more of my membranes slipped through the cervix. Around Thursday I started to bleed a little more and started to slowly lose fluid. On Friday, they did another ultrasound and there was no fluid left around the baby and he had flipped and was now feet down. His tiny feet were being pulled through my cervix because my entire bag of water was though my cervix. At this point, there was nothing else they could do... The doctors were very afraid I was going to get an infection and they didn't want to risk my life. The Perinatologist ordered the Mag to be turned off. They wanted to start pitocin but I didn't need it. As soon as the Mag. was off I started having contractions on my own. I had been having them all week, I just didn't know they were contractions and they weren't regular or strong because of the Mag. Now that the Mag was off, my body was contracting on its own. I was able to get out of bed and take a shower, the first time I was out of bed all week. I was so weak from the Mag but the water felt so good!
The doctor's didn't think my labor would be long because Ian was already about half way through my cervix but it lasted a lot longer than they expected. At first I decided to not do an epidural because they kept telling me how fast it was going to go, but a few hours into hard contractions Jason couldn't stand to see me hurting and begged me to get an epidural. I didn't want any other type of pain meds. because I wanted to remember everything! I wanted to remember holding my baby and seeing his sweet face! The epidural was a miracle drug! I felt like a totally new woman. It wasn't long after my epidural that I started to feel a lot of pressure again and the nurse checked me. It was time.
After a few pushes, Ian Samuel was born at 9:43pm on July 17th! The nurses delivered him and cut his cord. They placed him on my chest and we were able to be with him. The doctor came in a few minutes later and tried to deliver the placenta but it wouldn't budge. I had to be taken into the OR and have a D&C. While I was in surgery, the nurses gave Ian a bath and dressed him in the tiniest gown I have ever seen! They took pictures of Ian for us, made a cast of his tiny feet and took hand and feet prints! After my surgery, they brought Ian to the recovery room. Jason, my mom and dad were there with me.
The nurse took me back to my labor room to wait until a room was ready for us. Jason and I were able to spend well over an hour there with our sweet baby boy. We were able to take lots of pictures and hold him and just be with him. Ian was so perfect. Everything about him was perfect! His tiny ears, his long fingers and finger nails! He even had his daddy's BIG feet and huge big toe!!! It is such an amazing thing that even thought he was so tiny; his little body was so perfectly formed! God does amazing work! I will never forget the feel of his tiny hand and feet in my hands or the sweet look on his face... the tiny blonde hair of his eyebrows or the curve of his little chin. He is beautiful and he is MY SON!
Friday, August 14, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Pure Elation!!
Well, I have finally ventured into the world of "blogging"! I can't think of a better thing to start blogging about then the news that Jason and I are going to be parents!!!!!! Words really can not express the feelings that I have about being a mother. We have hoped and prayed for this moment for the last 4 1/2 years and it is finally here.
Let me start from the beginning... Early last week I began to feel a little "crampy" and figured that it was my period rearing her ugly head. Tuesday evening, after night class, I had some light spotting and figured that my earlier prediction was correct. Wednesday came and nothing... Thursday came and nothing again... I then began to wonder if the spotting could have actually been implantation spotting. I didn't want to get my expectations too high but I hoped so much that it was true. That night, Jason and I stopped by Rite Aid and I picked up some pregnancy tests.
Friday morning I woke up early for work and decided to take a test, just to see... I took the test and hopped in the shower. I swear, that had to have been the fastest shower I have ever taken. I climbed out of the shower and grabbed the HPT. I almost tossed it in the trash because it looked negative but then I took a second look and there it was...a tiny faint positive line. I could not believe my eyes! Next I tiptoed into our bedroom and shook Jason awake and said, "Good morning, Daddy." At first he gave me a confused, sleepy look but soon he was jumping up asking, "Is it positive?" I flipped on the light and his eyes wouldn't adjust and he couldn't find his glasses. We were a funny sight.
Again, we didn't want to get too excited, we had been here before and it turned out to be a chemical pregnancy. As soon as I got to work, I gave my doctor a call and let them know that I had a positive HPT. The nurse faxed orders for blood work to a local hospital, Pattie A. Clay. I asked my principal if I could leave work and go have the blood test, she cried with me and told me yes. My friend Jessica kept my class while I flew to Richmond to pick up Jason and head for blood work.
I arrived back at work around 12:15 and the next few hours were the longest hours of my life! Every time my phone rang, I held my breath. Finally, around 2:30 my phone rang and it was Jason. At first he sounded all depressed and asked, "Have you heard from the doctor yet?" and of course I told him no and then he replied, "I have", still in the depressed voice. My heart sank, I just knew it was going to be negative. Then he said, "It was positive!" We both started crying. He told me that my HCG level was 36 and that I needed to go back on Monday for a follow up blood test to make sure the HCG level was doubling. By this time I was balling my eyes out and my class had become completely quiet, I think they were scared... I ran to my friend, Jessica's room (still balling) and she grabbed me in the tightest hug and I told her it was positive. I think she cried nearly as much as I did. Of course her class became deathly quiet too, I mean how often do you see your two teachers crying their eyes out LOL. I think I floated through the rest of the day!
That evening we decided to tell our families the good news. They have been praying and hoping as long as we have and we wanted to share our joy with them. I typed up a note from Xane that read, "Hi! I just wanted to let you know that... I'm going to be a BIG BROTHER!!!! Love, Xane" and tied it around his neck and took a picture. He looked like the saddest puppy in the world in the picture.. I called my parents and told my mom that I was sending them a picture of Xane and wanted them both to see it. Well ,of course my dad was watching the UK press conference about the firing of Billy G. and wouldn't come to the computer right away, so mom went to open the picture.
It seemed like it took her forever to get her email open. Finally she found my email and started to download the picture. At first she just said, "Awwwww, he is so cute." Then I asked, "Did you read the note?" and she said, "No, wait a second." Then she started to read it. I think she must have read it 2 or 3 times then I heard a loud gasp and she yelled,"What does that mean? Are you pregnant?" and I told her yes. Then she yelled, "Ed, get in here! You need to read this note from Xane!" Mom was so funny. As soon as I told her the story from the day, she said, "I have to go call everybody."
We emailed the same thing to Jason's mom and sister and both of them were shocked and happy! Friday, March 27th was a fantastic day at our house!
I think we were on an excitement high all weekend. It seemed so unreal that I could actually be pregnant, we had waited so long and had so many negative tests I just wanted to pinch myself.
Let me start from the beginning... Early last week I began to feel a little "crampy" and figured that it was my period rearing her ugly head. Tuesday evening, after night class, I had some light spotting and figured that my earlier prediction was correct. Wednesday came and nothing... Thursday came and nothing again... I then began to wonder if the spotting could have actually been implantation spotting. I didn't want to get my expectations too high but I hoped so much that it was true. That night, Jason and I stopped by Rite Aid and I picked up some pregnancy tests.
Friday morning I woke up early for work and decided to take a test, just to see... I took the test and hopped in the shower. I swear, that had to have been the fastest shower I have ever taken. I climbed out of the shower and grabbed the HPT. I almost tossed it in the trash because it looked negative but then I took a second look and there it was...a tiny faint positive line. I could not believe my eyes! Next I tiptoed into our bedroom and shook Jason awake and said, "Good morning, Daddy." At first he gave me a confused, sleepy look but soon he was jumping up asking, "Is it positive?" I flipped on the light and his eyes wouldn't adjust and he couldn't find his glasses. We were a funny sight.
Again, we didn't want to get too excited, we had been here before and it turned out to be a chemical pregnancy. As soon as I got to work, I gave my doctor a call and let them know that I had a positive HPT. The nurse faxed orders for blood work to a local hospital, Pattie A. Clay. I asked my principal if I could leave work and go have the blood test, she cried with me and told me yes. My friend Jessica kept my class while I flew to Richmond to pick up Jason and head for blood work.
I arrived back at work around 12:15 and the next few hours were the longest hours of my life! Every time my phone rang, I held my breath. Finally, around 2:30 my phone rang and it was Jason. At first he sounded all depressed and asked, "Have you heard from the doctor yet?" and of course I told him no and then he replied, "I have", still in the depressed voice. My heart sank, I just knew it was going to be negative. Then he said, "It was positive!" We both started crying. He told me that my HCG level was 36 and that I needed to go back on Monday for a follow up blood test to make sure the HCG level was doubling. By this time I was balling my eyes out and my class had become completely quiet, I think they were scared... I ran to my friend, Jessica's room (still balling) and she grabbed me in the tightest hug and I told her it was positive. I think she cried nearly as much as I did. Of course her class became deathly quiet too, I mean how often do you see your two teachers crying their eyes out LOL. I think I floated through the rest of the day!
That evening we decided to tell our families the good news. They have been praying and hoping as long as we have and we wanted to share our joy with them. I typed up a note from Xane that read, "Hi! I just wanted to let you know that... I'm going to be a BIG BROTHER!!!! Love, Xane" and tied it around his neck and took a picture. He looked like the saddest puppy in the world in the picture.. I called my parents and told my mom that I was sending them a picture of Xane and wanted them both to see it. Well ,of course my dad was watching the UK press conference about the firing of Billy G. and wouldn't come to the computer right away, so mom went to open the picture.
It seemed like it took her forever to get her email open. Finally she found my email and started to download the picture. At first she just said, "Awwwww, he is so cute." Then I asked, "Did you read the note?" and she said, "No, wait a second." Then she started to read it. I think she must have read it 2 or 3 times then I heard a loud gasp and she yelled,"What does that mean? Are you pregnant?" and I told her yes. Then she yelled, "Ed, get in here! You need to read this note from Xane!" Mom was so funny. As soon as I told her the story from the day, she said, "I have to go call everybody."
We emailed the same thing to Jason's mom and sister and both of them were shocked and happy! Friday, March 27th was a fantastic day at our house!
I think we were on an excitement high all weekend. It seemed so unreal that I could actually be pregnant, we had waited so long and had so many negative tests I just wanted to pinch myself.
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